Where are all the HOT Asians?

When I think of Asian fashion, film, and TV personalities in the US the following ladies come to mind: Sandra Oh, Bai Ling, Devon Aoki, Margaret Cho, and Lisa Ling. However, American film and TV seem to gravitate towards less attractive Asian women and frankly it's really annoying. It's not to say these ladies aren't talented. I LOVE Margaret Cho and Lisa Ling definitely has balls when it comes to the projects she takes on. Plus I still remember Lisa from her days as a lowly anchor on Channel 1 news. I digress. Anyways, my point is that in comparison to some of the actresses abroad, our Asian ladies just fall short. Don't believe me?

Let's start with the Koreans. Korea has some of the hottest actresses around. I realize a lot of them may have had some help from a plastic surgeon but most American actresses have work done as well. Compare Sandra Oh with Song Hae Gyo. Personally, I think Song Hae Gyo is one of the most beautiful women in the world and a great actress. Sandra Oh, well...I often wonder how she made it in the acting business. She's very plain. I probably wouldn't even notice her if she walked down the street.

Sandra Oh (Grey's Anatomy)

Song Hae Gyo (Korean Actress)

Alright, as mentioned before I respect Lisa Ling's work. However she looks kind of like her face got stuck in a door jam. Wouldn't you rather hear some hard hitting news from twins May and Choy?

Lisa Ling (Journalist)

May and Choy (MTV Asia VJ's)

Finally, the train wreck attention whore known as Bai Ling. How many times have you seen her trademark nipple slip? Yeah, enough said. I know some of you may object to Dawn as she has been quite altered surgically and may seem like more of a pseudo celebrity. She does seem to be an attention whore as well which is why I lumped her in with Bai. Anyways...I still think she's cuter.

Bai Ling (Actress)

Dawn Yang (Singaporean blogger/model/actress)

It just occurred to me that maybe Americans like "exotic" but not "cute." What do you guys think?

Ick

I had a slightly traumatic evening the other day. It was about 10 pm and I was puttering about the house getting ready for bed when I noticed my cat staring at the ironing board in a most unusual way. I walked towards her to check it out but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Still, she kept staring even meowing to get my attention. So I crouch on the floor and look up to get the kitty eye view of the situation. Sure enough, sitting on a clothing hanger was the biggest, nastiest spider. Before I had a chance to process the horror my cat lunges towards the board and of course manages to tip the entire thing on the floor, more specifically on me. I let out the most blood curdling scream and did my "ewww I might have bugs crawling on me" dance. My cat still in hunt mode is circling the area to find the spider and I am dying realizing my dilemma.

1. It's time for bed but I can't sleep with this crawling in my room.

2. What if it somehow lodged itself in my hair?!?!.

3. The boy is not home tonight so either I will have to slay this beast or hope that my cat will find it and torture it death. Ick!

After wasting a half hour scouring my room I finally spied the arachnid on the wall, smushed it with copious amounts of toilet paper, and flushed it down the toilet. You see it's critical to flush creepy crawlies to make sure they are dead. You don't want them climbing out of the trash when you're not looking. Sigh.

In other random news. What the hell happened to Nick Nolte.

On High Alert

This whole heightened awareness thing that the media and our government is pushing is really cramping my style. I understand the threat but I wish they could give me something more definitive than "be vigilant" or "be on alert." What constitutes suspicious behavior? Where do you draw the line between potential terrorist and crazy homeless dude on the subway? I happened to be working in DC during September 11th so I realize the severity of the situation. However, when you find out the "terrorists" who are plotting our death and destruction look like this:

You just have to laugh. It's like a bad comic book villain or B actor in a made for tv sci-fi flick. Anyways, I shall keep a lookout for these potential psychopaths as I make my way through the throngs of children and nerds at the new Potter movie.

Weighty Issues

Someone just sent me the following article from AskMen.com. I've never had a guy ask me to lose weight but I did have one that encouraged me to eat more. Frankly it creeped me out. My first thought was "this bozo wants me to get fat and desperate so I'll stay with him." Anyways..I broke up with him shortly thereafter.
Also, I just found some new thinspiration (did I just use a pro-ana word????):


Picture from: www.shape.com

1-800-JENNY

Sigh. So I did it. I joined Jenny Craig. Ok, so most of you must be thinking that Kitteh Mistress is a beast, a porker, a cow, a hippo. Well no, not exactly. I am 5'5" and was 126 lbs at the time of my first Jenny weigh in. So why am I on Jenny? Well, I want to look HOTTER! Duh.
But seriously, I work out regularly but I eat like horse so I need help with portion control and basic nutrition. Anyways... this is my impression 7 days into the program.

1. The Jenny Craig "counselors" are big girls! Yes, like 200 lbs. In fact the lady who created my program felt the need to clarify how she had just given birth to twins and had fallen off the wagon. Slightly ominous.

2. The food is good but the portions are extremely small. Like, I had a tuna salad that came in a pre-packaged can that was the exact same size as the Fancy Feast my 8 lb cat eats. Also, its expensive. That alone is motivation to lose the weight and keep it off. I don't think I can afford to do this again.

3. From what I can tell it's low fat, lower carb, smaller portions and calorie counting.

4. It's working!!! I have lost 4 lbs in 7 days.

5. The experience is making me realize that I eat because I'm bored and I definitely don't need as much food as I previously thought.

Anyone else on the program? Thoughts???

who are the people in your neighborhood?

If you've ever watched an episode of Friends, you are probably familiar with "Ugly Naked Guy who lives across the street." I never truly appreciated the humor until I discovered my own "Ugly Naked Couple." Ugly Naked Couple live across from me in my townhouse development. To the untrained eye they seem like an average 50-something couple. However I know better. It started off innocently enough. I pulled into my parking space after a night out and walked to my door. As I approached the front porch I looked behind me just to make sure some psycho stalker isn't waiting in the bushes and catch a clear view into what looks like an upstairs bathroom and a pair of saggy boobs. I took a double take and sure enough Mrs. UNC is standing by the window topless, brushing her hair and Mr. UNC in the background. Ok, so maybe she thinks no one can see in, it's late, blah blah. Alright... but the next night I see it again, and again and again! Upon further inspection I realize that the mirrors in the bathroom are angled in a way to give any voyeur a view of the full monty. So by now I am completely grossed out yet cannot not look. It's like a bad accident you just have to slow down and try to get a peak. Anyways, this morning on my way to work I see Mr. UNC outside picking up the paper. He stops stares at me and gives me this knowing look. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

virgin post

Today was a typical day of "faux" working. I checked emails, read my daily goss, trolled the cute animal blogs and im-ed a few peeps. It's Wednesday...you can't expect me to do any "real" work. Along the way I decided to check up on a former boy. Let's call him Ben for now. Ben is not the typical boy I go for. He's a bit on the short side (5'8"-ish..), blonde, hipster specs, and vaguely reminiscent of Ben Franklin. Don't ask...he just is. Despite this, Ben managed to peak my interest long enough for a night out on the town. I can't really put my finger on it but after 5 full minutes of "date" conversation I just knew this dude was too big of douchebag to date. Highly unusual considering my track record. So after a night of boring blather and the most horrid kiss I've ever had in my life. Think warm, moist, chappy lips with garlic breath. :Shudder: I went home to my comfy bed. Anyways.. this morning in a moment of boredom I looked him up on MySpace and started clicking away at a few of his 135 friends. What did I discover... pagans, gamers, middle aged D&D dudes, fat renaissance wenches with fairy tattoos, and a bit of S&M. WOOOOOAH. Who knew nerdy douchebags were so kinky.