who are the people in your neighborhood?

If you've ever watched an episode of Friends, you are probably familiar with "Ugly Naked Guy who lives across the street." I never truly appreciated the humor until I discovered my own "Ugly Naked Couple." Ugly Naked Couple live across from me in my townhouse development. To the untrained eye they seem like an average 50-something couple. However I know better. It started off innocently enough. I pulled into my parking space after a night out and walked to my door. As I approached the front porch I looked behind me just to make sure some psycho stalker isn't waiting in the bushes and catch a clear view into what looks like an upstairs bathroom and a pair of saggy boobs. I took a double take and sure enough Mrs. UNC is standing by the window topless, brushing her hair and Mr. UNC in the background. Ok, so maybe she thinks no one can see in, it's late, blah blah. Alright... but the next night I see it again, and again and again! Upon further inspection I realize that the mirrors in the bathroom are angled in a way to give any voyeur a view of the full monty. So by now I am completely grossed out yet cannot not look. It's like a bad accident you just have to slow down and try to get a peak. Anyways, this morning on my way to work I see Mr. UNC outside picking up the paper. He stops stares at me and gives me this knowing look. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

virgin post

Today was a typical day of "faux" working. I checked emails, read my daily goss, trolled the cute animal blogs and im-ed a few peeps. It's Wednesday...you can't expect me to do any "real" work. Along the way I decided to check up on a former boy. Let's call him Ben for now. Ben is not the typical boy I go for. He's a bit on the short side (5'8"-ish..), blonde, hipster specs, and vaguely reminiscent of Ben Franklin. Don't ask...he just is. Despite this, Ben managed to peak my interest long enough for a night out on the town. I can't really put my finger on it but after 5 full minutes of "date" conversation I just knew this dude was too big of douchebag to date. Highly unusual considering my track record. So after a night of boring blather and the most horrid kiss I've ever had in my life. Think warm, moist, chappy lips with garlic breath. :Shudder: I went home to my comfy bed. Anyways.. this morning in a moment of boredom I looked him up on MySpace and started clicking away at a few of his 135 friends. What did I discover... pagans, gamers, middle aged D&D dudes, fat renaissance wenches with fairy tattoos, and a bit of S&M. WOOOOOAH. Who knew nerdy douchebags were so kinky.